Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Everything else you can poke a stick at. And then some.
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biscuit
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby biscuit » Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:27 pm

Good on ya :wink:

The Q&A had me in fits!
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby ZebraWarriorPrincess » Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:34 pm

Destroyed a file (not that I care!)....and also managed to log in here whilst at work. Whenever I try to post it locks me out though. Sadly, it's not really the kind of thing I can readily complain about to IT though! Tried deleted cookies, etc but no good.

My tuck shop colleague enjoyed it too.... :D
It's a psychological analogy

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eorious
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby eorious » Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:06 pm

biscuit wrote:http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=223309871

Scary washing machine! Hysterical :rolls:



Nice one biscuit! Not only hysterically funny, but informative. I'd always wondered what Fisher and Paykel was referring to in Hotties. I'd always assumed it was some kind of food. :lol:

Looks like the seller is being rewarded for having such a good sense of humor. $2600 for a used washing machine?

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SheWolf
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby SheWolf » Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:15 pm

LauraK wrote:"Daddy's never coming home...." :o

Yep...twisted.
bwahahahaha I heart that book.
90% evil
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby ZebraWarriorPrincess » Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:34 pm

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Art/Drawings/a ... 483975.htm

From the same seller - is is just me, or does it remind you of Eagle Vs Shark?
It's a psychological analogy

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biscuit
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby biscuit » Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:18 pm

I'm in awe! And also I am wildly jealous. Why can't I come up with shi' like this :P
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby ZebraWarriorPrincess » Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:29 pm

Same here....
It's a psychological analogy

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Ozpot
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby Ozpot » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:52 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYuOurhglz8

Kids In The Hall is comedic genius.
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Corrine
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby Corrine » Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:09 am

Biscuit, I just read about the Scary Washing Machine! Thanks for posting. Oh my gosh, that was so hilarious!!! Somehow I missed that earlier.
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nonchalant obsession
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby nonchalant obsession » Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:20 am

I randomly came across these and some of them made me giggle enough to bump this thread. :D

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. Police were called to a day care, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
4. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
7. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
8. A thief who stole a calendar… got twelve months.
9. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
10. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U. C. L. A.
12. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
13. The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
14. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
15. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
16. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
17. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
18. A will is a dead giveaway.
19. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
20. A backward poet writes inverse.
21. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
22. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
23. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
24. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
25. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
26. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
27. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
28. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
29. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
30. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
31. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
32. A calendar’s days are numbered.
33. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
34. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
35. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Source: http://www.ajaydsouza.com
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LauraK
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby LauraK » Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:27 am

NonOb- I'm c/p that to show my mom- she loves punny things! :lol: Thanks!

Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey, are some of the funniest things I've ever heard/read. Loved when they were on SNL and have all of the books, the earliest being best. While in pain, scared, and waiting to have an ultrasound to see if I indeed had a tubal pregnancy, My Mom, Cousin, and I sat in the waiting room and read Deep Thoughts out loud to each other, in between trying to breathe cuz we were laughing so hard. We're weird, yes.
Here's some:

The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then I told myself, 'Go ahead, do whatever you want, it's ok by me.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

One way I think you can tell if you have a curse on you is if you open a box of toothpicks and they all fly up and stick in your face.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what *really* throws you into a panic.

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity "happen."

Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?

For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex. **(Like Bret's imaginary children, lol!)**

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.


I'm sitting here laughing like an idiot again...I love these.....
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nonchalant obsession
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby nonchalant obsession » Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:53 am

:roll2: I laughed so hard reading those that I got a sideache. Thanks LauraK.
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biscuit
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby biscuit » Sat Jul 18, 2009 12:12 pm

Nonch and Laura; those were brilliant :rolls: :roll2:

I love punny stuff and cynical humour! :lol:

I have to send them on to my mum as well :nod:
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curlisue
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby curlisue » Sat Jul 18, 2009 1:08 pm

http://www.mornington-crescent-rule.fsn ... laints.htm

These are some geunuine complaints received by Edinburgh council :lol:
Sometimes when I'm freestyling...I lose confidence

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biscuit
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Re: Uncontrollable Giggle Fits

Postby biscuit » Sat Jul 18, 2009 1:35 pm

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.


:roll2:

Yes, my sense of humour is that lame.:lol: I do hope I never grow up 8)

Thanks for the laughs, Curlisue
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