More Bret quotes:
"I can't be tickling all night. I'm not even ticklish. ... No, I'm faking it. Yeah, she's faking it as well, I think."
"Why are you moving out? Is it something I've done? ... Is it 'cause of the towel? ... 'Cause I used your towel and I got athlete's foot? ... It's not that? ... Is it my mold farm? ... Are you sick of my mold farm? ... Is it aspergillus fumigatus? ... You sure? ... Was it something from a while ago? ... When we were at school and you said you got a hickey from Judy Bailey, I told everyone it was the vacuum cleaner? ... Is that it? ... But you did. ... Yes, you did. ... Well, it was a perfectly round hickey. ... Well, it was exactly the same size as the vacuum cleaner tube. ... Oh! Is it because I drank all the orange juice? ... Is it because I drank all the apple juice? ... Was it something psychological? Because I put you down in front of other people? ... He wouldn't know, 'cause he's got no idea. ... Well, is it because I ask too many questions? ... Was it something subtle? ... Is it 'cause I eat too loudly? ... It is? I knew it!"
"Who took that photo?"
"What about a planet of diamonds and rubies?"
"Well, it's difficult to draw a wolf, so I used a picture of myself and then adjusted it."
how long did it take you to write that????