A MONTHLY ADVICE COLUMN
This month: guest columnist Jemaine Clement
The debt ceiling has me concerned. Is this something that I, as a concerned citizen and a good American, can help out with? You know, like recycling.
Dear Joe P.,
Don’t worry about the debt ceiling—it’s the debt you should worry about! You guys are really in debt, man! How did you guys get into so much debt? I thought you were rich! What the hell have you been buying? It wasn’t health care! You have more debt than when you were going to the moon! Did you blow it all on aircraft carriers or something? Did you spend it all on designer suits in the ’80s? Did you all get one each? I hope you’re not spending it on drugs! America, look me in the eye and tell me you’re not doing drugs.
Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to help with the national debt:
(1) Make sure you are paying tax in the correct bracket for your earnings.
(2) Buy locally made items. Keeping money in the country is a great help to the economy in general.
(3) Lobby your local politicians to make sure your money is being spent responsibly.
(4) Give the government 20 billion dollars.
To read the rest of this piece, please purchase this issue of the Believer online or at your local bookseller.
Men of steel bring back the spandex
By Scott Kara
5:30 AM Friday Sep 28, 2012
Steel Panther bring their mission to revive L.A. hair-metal to New Zealand
Lexxi Foxx (left) and band play in Auckland next week. Photo / Supplied
Lexxi Foxx of Los Angeles glam metallers Steel Panther has partied with the greatest. Charlie Sheen, Hugh Hefner and his bunnies, and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger, among many others. And just before you think about it, don't bag Chad.
"He is bitchin'," says Lexxi. "Chad came to our show and got up and jammed with us. And I don't know if Chad wants this out there, but he borrowed my spandex for a night, he is bitchin'."
But one of the biggest party animals Lexxi and the rest of the Panthers have met is our own Jemaine Clement.
"They [the Conchords] would come to our shows. They are two really really cool guys and they like heavy metal too," he says. "But one night, and I'm not sure if I should say this in an interview, but Jemaine and I got really hammered. Actually, no, I probably shouldn't say this. But him and I have a lot in common."
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests